THIS.
was how my baby looked the first time i saw her.
i gasped.
i cried,
i bawled,
i shook my head in amazement,
i was ..
both happy she was here,
and seemed ok,
and yet at the same time,
amazed that after having a 10lb(er)
that i would have a preemie.
she was 6lbs 6 oz.
i assumed everything went well.
why would she need to be in the nicu?
for 7 weeks early..being that big.. she was ok.
she was fine.
a nice healthy size.
look at those chubby cheeks!
let me go see what they are doing with her.
she is perfectly healthy.
but no.
her insides weren't developed.
her lungs werent developed
and she might have pnemonia.
oh.
and the crying started again..
and i cried some more ................
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When you contemplate parenthood, no one thinks about the scary stuff. The only thoughts are of blue or pink and what color the nursery should be. No one tells you about the NICU. Pregnant women across the world pray for the end of their pregnancy when they can tie their shoes or shave their legs without their belly in their way. No one tells you to enjoy every second because it might not last as long as you think it will. No one tells you to get a photo of that belly before it’s gone. No one tells you to enjoy that feeling of exhaustion because it may be replaced with fear and stress. Everyone hopes for a beautiful and rosy baby with chubby cheeks. Everyone talks about labor pains and how they hope it goes quick. No one tells you about labor that they wish they could stop. Everyone talks about buying the right kind of baby monitor. No one tells you about the monitor that measures your baby’s life. Everyone talks about the joy of taking their baby home from the hospital. No one tells you that you will be going home in fear, terrified and alone for the next few days, while your child fights for her life. No one could have prepared me for the life that came a few weeks too soon.
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was how my baby looked the first time i saw her.
i gasped.
i cried,
i bawled,
i shook my head in amazement,
i was ..
both happy she was here,
and seemed ok,
and yet at the same time,
amazed that after having a 10lb(er)
that i would have a preemie.
she was 6lbs 6 oz.
i assumed everything went well.
why would she need to be in the nicu?
for 7 weeks early..being that big.. she was ok.
she was fine.
a nice healthy size.
look at those chubby cheeks!
let me go see what they are doing with her.
she is perfectly healthy.
but no.
her insides weren't developed.
her lungs werent developed
and she might have pnemonia.
oh.
and the crying started again..
and i cried some more ................
When you contemplate parenthood, no one thinks about the scary stuff. The only thoughts are of blue or pink and what color the nursery should be. No one tells you about the NICU. Pregnant women across the world pray for the end of their pregnancy when they can tie their shoes or shave their legs without their belly in their way. No one tells you to enjoy every second because it might not last as long as you think it will. No one tells you to get a photo of that belly before it’s gone. No one tells you to enjoy that feeling of exhaustion because it may be replaced with fear and stress. Everyone hopes for a beautiful and rosy baby with chubby cheeks. Everyone talks about labor pains and how they hope it goes quick. No one tells you about labor that they wish they could stop. Everyone talks about buying the right kind of baby monitor. No one tells you about the monitor that measures your baby’s life. Everyone talks about the joy of taking their baby home from the hospital. No one tells you that you will be going home in fear, terrified and alone for the next few days, while your child fights for her life. No one could have prepared me for the life that came a few weeks too soon.
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meet your great-granddaughter, your namesake...
this was our first night home.
we were so worried about jack.
no need. he took to "his randa" right away,
reaching out, wanting to hold her,
and mad that she wouldnt answer him,
when he would talk to her and ask her questions.
we were so worried about jack.
no need. he took to "his randa" right away,
reaching out, wanting to hold her,
and mad that she wouldnt answer him,
when he would talk to her and ask her questions.
he was, and still is obsessed with her..
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4 comments:
It's a shame that more women don't have the insight to treasure every second of their pregnancy, and realize what a blessing it is to have every single one of those seconds.
The pictures are so sweet. I can see the love on Jack's face as he waits to hold his little sister.
Wow! This is great! I actually started crying reading it...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRINCESS MIRANDA!!!!
Who would have thought that the tiny little chubby baby in the NIC unit would grow to such a beautiful 2 year old!!!
Love you bunches!!!!
Love, Kristen
OMG I can't believe she is going to be 2 years old...I cant believe it....I can't believe those retarded nurses didnt let you see her in the delvivery room...wow thats gay!!!!Hahaha anyway..great pics...she was adorable then and is adorable today too...i love the picture of jack reaching out his little hands for her!!!
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